seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
