Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
