I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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