I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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