I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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