He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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