dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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