Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(971): View more from Oregon

I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.

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(971): I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex. http://tfl.nu/gyof

Replies (18) Good night (5781) Bad night (1188)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.

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(781): I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation. http://tfl.nu/r77c

Replies (19) Good night (5087) Bad night (1235)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."

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(248): Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching." http://tfl.nu/eoit

Replies (59) Good night (975) Bad night (3200)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.

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(205): Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent. http://tfl.nu/5qhy

Replies (25) Good night (554) Bad night (7284)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"

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(603): got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes" http://tfl.nu/m7wu

Replies (13) Good night (7625) Bad night (1013)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.

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(443): Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is. http://tfl.nu/at5q

Replies (4) Good night (1714) Bad night (896)
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(850): View more from Florida

If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.

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(850): If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me. http://tfl.nu/s2pe

Replies (20) Good night (1411) Bad night (4831)
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(914): View more from New York

So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.

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(914): So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall. http://tfl.nu/w95m

Replies (4) Good night (1280) Bad night (410)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.

(1-413): View more from Massachusetts

A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.

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(413): Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens. (1-413): A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck. http://tfl.nu/qib0

Replies (9) Good night (1351) Bad night (501)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.

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(318): I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna. http://tfl.nu/hik5

Replies (4) Good night (1263) Bad night (305)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.

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(225): I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight. http://tfl.nu/p6i2

Replies (5) Good night (615) Bad night (285)
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(513): View more from Ohio

So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.

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(513): So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time. http://tfl.nu/30oo

Replies (1) Good night (175) Bad night (342)
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(905): View more from Ontario

thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin

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(905): thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin http://tfl.nu/6tp7

Replies (6) Good night (703) Bad night (398)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?

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(615): I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend. (1-615): Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist? http://tfl.nu/x9n9

Replies (5) Good night (614) Bad night (360)
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(317): View more from Indiana

This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.

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(317): This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3. http://tfl.nu/b4xj

Replies (2) Good night (636) Bad night (365)

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