Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina

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  (717): ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina http://tfl.nu/5npd
  Replies (30) Good night (549) Bad night (8895)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.

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  (607): Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later. http://tfl.nu/om4f
  Replies (27) Good night (4693) Bad night (1486)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.

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  (705): I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless. http://tfl.nu/v2dr
  Replies (36) Good night (4520) Bad night (1256)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.

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  (484): I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me. http://tfl.nu/20bq
  Replies (7) Good night (2548) Bad night (1246)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.

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  (+61): Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever. http://tfl.nu/klad
  Replies (20) Good night (7295) Bad night (906)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.

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  (918): Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent. http://tfl.nu/zbek
  Replies (13) Good night (3509) Bad night (775)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.

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  (412): some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job. http://tfl.nu/yk8c
  Replies (7) Good night (3374) Bad night (596)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay

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  (304): I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay http://tfl.nu/d341
  Replies (18) Good night (636) Bad night (1672)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number

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  (908): Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number http://tfl.nu/xbwx
  Replies (5) Good night (617) Bad night (1711)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.

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  (636): Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year. http://tfl.nu/cp8d
  Replies (4) Good night (536) Bad night (911)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.

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  (406): There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry. http://tfl.nu/fovj
  Replies (3) Good night (833) Bad night (350)
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  (914): View more from New York

  So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.

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  (914): So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy. http://tfl.nu/skqk
  Replies (3) Good night (855) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.

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  (941): Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked. http://tfl.nu/l2tu
  Replies (1) Good night (185) Bad night (653)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"

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  (423): So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY" http://tfl.nu/9gkr
  Replies (1) Good night (353) Bad night (243)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.

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  (605): I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help. http://tfl.nu/advt
  Replies (0) Good night (318) Bad night (257)

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