Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off

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(845): View more from New York

Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.

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(509): View more from Washington

Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint

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(815): View more from Illinois

Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.

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(540): View more from Virginia

He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...

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(631): View more from New York

if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave

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