just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.