This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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