Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
