im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize