okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
