Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
