id be glad to
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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