He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize