Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The air was thick with penises
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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