New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
