seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
thus making me awesome and them whores
im six kinds of drunk right now
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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