an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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