May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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