i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
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Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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