Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i don't like sucking hair
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
