But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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