she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
