the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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