He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My balls are so social today.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
