I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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