who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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