i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
