I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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