well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
