trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
