then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
