I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize