he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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