New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize