We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
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And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
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Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
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