No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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