Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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