They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
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I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
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Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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