i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My penis needs a shock collar
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
