i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
