I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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