I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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