Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
it was like eating out sand paper
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
