i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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