Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
