Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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