I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
