Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
