Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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