She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize