he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.