If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.