So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.