I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
