we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
