What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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